Aging Gracefully

My grandmother has been in my thoughts and in conversations with my women friends a lot lately. I have been using her as a great example for us as she was someone who never wasted time thinking about aging. She was forever young. She was happy, she had a career that gave her a purpose in life, and her work kept her young and active both mentally and physically. At the age of 94 when old age had finally crept in and she could no longer work, she died peacefully. She was never ill, she slept very little, read her books diligently every night, drank many cups of strong espresso daily and worked every day of her life. (she never took a vacation)

When my life changed so drastically, for a moment I had forgotten what really made me happy and where I came from.

Here I go again, starting up my accounting career once more just like I did in 1979. Starting from scratch after so much life experience and in such a different world. Technology - 'have computer will travel' - has changed the way I do business, it allows me to work from home. I no longer have the constraints of an office, research is at my fingertips. My computer, clients and associates now form my new 'virtual' office. My associate Laurie, an ex-employee, intelligent, hard working, with impeccable work ethics, and attention to detail and getting things done right, makes for a great partner. My clients are a wonderful new cast of characters for me, an international mix, many in the arts, all with real talent, all sharing one common denominator CREATIVITY... and I love that.

Talking with my friends about my grandmother and going back to my career have helped me find my fountain of youth, tomorrow, we shall see what else life will bring us. A new journey. I welcome it.

I want to thank my grandmother yet again for helping me throughout my life. When I was young our talks guided me to making important life decisions. Now, that she's no longer with us she is still guiding me by her example in the most difficult part of life "Aging Gracefully".

Michael

Last night my friend Margaret and I were talking about old friends and at her suggestion, I googled my friend Michael only to find that he has been dead for the past 8 years. I met Michael when I was 17 years old and he remained very close to my heart. Our friendship lasted over the years. Although I didn't see him, he'd call every so often and we'd catch up on our lives. Until... we lost touch several years ago. I thought it was due perhaps to all of my contact numbers being changed when my business was merged and I separated from my ex.

I wondered why he hadn't called and years later, I called his office only to find that he was no longer there and no forwarding number. I then knew but could not bring myself to accept that I would never hear from him again. I knew he was gone forever. There were many things I needed to say.

When my father died I felt the same. I kept putting off discussions that needed to be addressed. I always thought there would be time. But one morning, I got the call that he had passed the night before, all the thoughts of all the unanswered questions All the thoughts of what needed to be said; crowded in on me while a sadness came over me. The same sadness that I felt last night reading of Michael's passing.

I was devastated that I could not say goodbye. While the process of having to say goodbye, seemed unimportant to me in the earlier part of my life, it now seems very significant and essential in my second chapter.

However, in 2007, I was fortunate enough to contact two of my favorite clients Johnny, and Hiram. I was feeling nostalgic as my life had changed drastically. Finding myself in France, I thought of Johnny and how much I admired and respected him as an artist and as a human being. I thought how much I missed him and decided to call him. I indirectly said my goodbyes to him by telling him all that I thought about him. And then there was Hiram, who was like a son to me, he was playing at "Testaccio Village" in Rome when I was in Rome. I went back stage like the old days and got time to talk there and again when we were in NYC. .

A year later shockingly both Johnny and Hiram died on the same day 7/25/2008. Johnny in France and Hiram in NYC. Yes, there was GREAT sadness but there were no unanswered questions or untold feelings. There was closure. They will always be in my heart.

Today on Valentine's, I hope you all remember your loved ones and make sure they know how you feel.

Happy Valentine,
Franca

A Quattr'occhi

My friend called yesterday asking what time would be best for her son to call me. He wanted to ask me some questions pertaining to accounting. I immediately said that if he was going to be in NYC, I would rather see him in person. I really wanted to say "a quattr'occhi", an expression I'd never used before but I now remember coming across it for the first time many years ago. It was in Rome back in 2001, I was visiting the ‘Alimentari’, the deli on via dei Banchi Vecchi when I noticed two men loudly speaking to each other. One said, "I told him that I wanted to speak to him 'a quattr’occhi' not on the phone". I loved the expression, but never had a reason to use it until yesterday.

What does “a quattr'occhi" really mean? The literal translation is "with four eyes". and when I heard the two men talking in the Alimentari, the meaning was much more that just "with four eyes", I understood it to mean only 4 eyes in other words, in private.

I started thinking about the phrase and the beauty of it and how significant it was. I started thinking of all of the emails and phone conversations that were misunderstood and how this could have been avoided if instead I had spoken to the people involved "a quattr'occhi". The eyes tell so much, they really are the windows of our souls. They give clues as to what we are thinking and feeling. When the eyes are smiling we know it's a genuine smile. Is the person looking at our eyes or avoiding them? So, off I go and googled a quatrr'occhi. Yes, the meaning was right on. I also found a video “A quattr’occhi with Dio” with Massimo Troise, an actor I loved in " Il Postino". This video introduced me to another side of Massimo Troisi.

A quattr'occhi con Dio” Massimo Troisihttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27F2njMwnto&NR=1

I had seen "Il Postino" and fell in love with Massimo Troisi, a sensitive loving and handsome man. I never knew before today, that he was also a comedian with a lot to say. In this video he's having a private conversation with God and he's demanding of God an explanation for all he's done. He questions God’s haste in creating the world in 6 days. He says the animals are complaining, like the elephant thinks his nose is too long… a very amusing soliloquy of a poor man angrily speaking with his God. He says the ten commandments were made to benefit the rich- After all, who would want to covet or steal his old hoody! What was that nonsense and chaos that God caused just because a young girl ate an apple! By the way you should check it out as it is very funny, if you can understand Italian, better yet the Neapolitan dialect.

This form of communication obviously isn't, "aquattr’occhi", it's almost the New Year and I hope in the coming 2011 I will be speaking to all of you a quattr’occhi.

Our Passion For Collecting

Is it the internet that is helping old friends get back in touch with friends from their past or is it just another stage of life that we go through or is it both. Through Facebook, I have renewed many old friendships. One of these is a friendship with my friend Ellen whom I met through our passion for collecting. Collecting is a not only a lot of fun but for some of us, collecting lies at the core of our very existence. Collecting is not just about collecting great treasures but also in making and "collecting" new friends. Hunting for both is an adventure which is different and unique for each. Each one newly found, has its own "story.' In truth, it's a history lesson that teaches us many valuable skills. First is being able to identify, then select and, lastly evaluate. Financially, my collector friends, when faced with hard times during this recession, were able to survive by selling off their collections and also by counting on one another.

I met Ellen many years ago when I was in the midst of my collecting phase. I collected just about everything, but my passion was bakelite and costume jewelry. Ellen, collected everything that was Victorian. The Victorian period was her passion, especially paintings on Ivory. She has very long dark beautiful hair and she lookes like one of the victorian ivory portraits that she so much likes.

Going to the 26th street, and the 67th street flea markets on the w/e's, was our time to hunt for treasures and be with friends. We looked forward to the w/e. Ellen and I would meet and then go on our own way to find our cherished treasures - only to meet again at a diner and have our breakfast. It wasn't so much the breakfast that we were looking forward to, but it was the opportunity to look at our goodies and share our finds with a friend. Sometimes, Ellen would say, Frances, didn't you see that this brooch has been repaired, or this necklace is not original and I would shriek, and I would vouch to be more careful next time, and the next w/e it would be the same. Most of the time, I would have bought some really amazing treasures, which along with fond memories would be cherished for many years to come. I can still remember our oohs and aahs when looking at our goodies and complimenting ourselves on our finds. Ellen had great taste and always came up with the perfect item.

After many years, here we are again "thanks to Facebook " on the phone to find out she is no longer buying antique and Victorian jewelry nor am I buying anything either. Actually I have divested myself of just about everything material. My interests are now elsewhere and so are Ellen's. Her sister has left her job and opened an exclusive pet shop, specializing in dog items. No live animals. I immediately checked out her website and OMG. It's amazing. Check out the website at www.causetopaws.com She has everything I would want for my daughter's dog NIKE. HERE WE ARE AGAIN SHARING A MUTUAL INTEREST. It's just amazing after all these years -it's like time has not passed - we went from one passion to another.

While our passion for collecting inanimate objects has decreased, our passion for "collecting" friendships has increased. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPTOY8FrvNw simon and garfunkel song old friends

"Wilkie Collins: A Modern Man From the 1800's"

For you out there who have difficulty getting to sleep at night or needing distraction during the day, here is my remedy - read Wilkie Collins books. After my daughter finished reading his book "The Moonstone", she came over to me and said "mom, you should read this book I think you would like it". Considering that she had been right numerous times before, I gladly accepted her suggestion. I had no idea how powerful and engrossing this book would be and I couldn't put it down once I had started reading it. I devoured all 400+ pages which caused me to forget everything else. I thoroughly enjoyed it! - written in the mid 1800's, this author was way ahead of his time. I loved his characters, especially the women who are depicted as independent, strong and exceptionally intelligent. After reading the book, I launched into finding out more about him. Now I like him even more. He is a man after my own heart!. He neither believed in marriage nor religion, He believed in a committed relationship without the need of a marriage certificate.

A few days after finishing reading "The Moonstone", Alanna, comes back from the library with yet another Wilkie book, " Armadale" and says, would you like to read it but I'm warning you it's twice the lenghts of the other one. I said," Oh no! I have way too much work, and he is so addictive, I better wait", but the book was staring at me and finally, i couldn't help picking it up and I started on the enterprise. Three days later, no sleep, no going out, no cooking....I finished the book - and again, I was more convinced than ever that I wanted to read more of his books. "Armadale" has a plot with lots of twists and turns.

Instead of detesting Lydia Gwilt for being a murderess, I actually liked her character, she was strong, independent, smart and masquing her ability to love and be loved. Collins again, shows himself as a man ahead of his time with the psychological profile of his character of Lydia Gwilt and the two Allan Armadales. This story also delves in fate and the superatural as Mr. Midwinter often says " What is to be will be". "che sara' sara'"
My dear friends, I recommend this book totally. Reading these books was like watching a movie, or perhaps more like a soap opera- where he describes every scene, life as it was during the 19th Century, the laws of the time, their culture and beliefs but somehow he transcends this era and brings it right to today.

Bialetti Coffee Maker

So, after living in Rome for about 5 years it became apparent to me that in almost every home there was a Bialetti coffee espresso maker, but all I could think about was the Neapolitan coffee maker that I grew up with, called The Napolitana, this is the one that my grandmother used. My grandmother was not a Napoletana but a Romagnola. She loved her coffee and La Napolitana coffee maker is the one she carried with her everywhere she went. As a child when my grandmother had some free time she'd say, "Francolina, let's go to Naples for a good cup of coffee" we'd all file into the car and the long 2 to 3 hour drive began. The adults would have their special coffee and my sister and I would have the most delicious pizza ever.

Now four years later, I find myself at the Porto Rico coffee shop in the West Village and Bialetti's name comes up again. Having run out of my coffee from San'Eustachio, which I bring back from Rome, I have no idea which coffee to purchase and I ask the salesperson, a charming young man, probably the same age as my daughters, to recommend a strong espresso bean. He asked whether I wanted it ground, and whether I used a Bialetti. I go into my story how every home in Italy has one...and find myself engaged in a quite informative conversation about different coffee makers with the young man. Of course I bought his favorite BLEND, and to top it off it was on sale too!

At home, I kept thinking why the Bialetti espresso maker has become so popular and the number one choice all over Italy. All Italians and coffee lovers know that the best coffee in Italy is in Naples, there have been debates about it, is it the water? is it the way the coffee beans are roasted? is it the humidity? is it the coffee pot? No one knows, all I know is, it is by far the best coffee I have ever had. And the same debate would be about the pizza as it was for the coffee, is it the water?...

So, I ask again, what makes Bialetti the #1 coffee maker in Italy and why do I have a Bialetti in my home and not the Napolitana. Maybe, because it's easier to use, more accessible, or just following the trend?

Polenta

Lately, I've been to some very good Italian restaurants and Polenta was on the menu. As a little girl in Italy, Polenta was one of my favorite Primo Piatto. The process is long but straight forward. One needs:

1 pound coarsely ground corn meal, preferably stone-ground.
2 quarts boiling water, keep some water boiling on the side.
A teaspoon of salt.

Boil water in a wide bottomed pot and add the salt. When it comes to a boil, slowly add the corn meal stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, always stir in the same direction, to keep lumps from forming. Keep stirring for abut 40 minutes.

Of course Polenta requires a tasty topping. a few examples: Marinara sauce, Meatballs, Sausages, Broccoletti and Sausages, Ricotta and all kinds of Cheeses and vegetables....on and on. This is a very creative dish with many ways to cook and top it.
Polenta is not only a savory dish but it can also be made as a dessert. If there are any leftovers it can be equally tasty, fried, grilled or just left plain with your choice of sweet or savory toppings. For savory: Just about anything but I especially like it with a light fresh tomato sauce and fried until crispy. And for sweet: Top it with honey, nuts, ricotta or fruits. Enjoy!!!

Back at the restaurant, I eagerly order my Polenta and find it not to be authentic. What a disappointment. its not my memory of it at all. My beautiful memories, of my family taking turns stirring the Polenta. While we stirred, We laughed, told jokes and drank wine as we patiently waited for the perfect meal.

These memories of Polenta are tempting me to start my own restaurant so that my friends will be able to enjoy what I enjoyed back when I was a child.

PS
do not stop stirring the polenta otherwise it will stick and burn

PPS
To serve, it's poured out onto a wooden board or on individual plates