Naming Names

Every morning I am greeted with a pressing question, "What do you want to be called?"  This might seem like an odd question, especially considering that it is my daughter who asks me.  My answer, although it rarely changes,  doesn't satisfy her; "She can call me Franca,  I'll be her Fra!"  To this Sidney responds, "You're her Grandmother, she cannot call you Franca!"

It's January 3rd, 7PM. I'm in the waiting room at NYU Langone Medical Center, waiting for Verusca to arrive.  I knew this day would come but never thought it would would be so soon.   

We rushed her to the hospital, after hours of laboring at home, in the middle of a snowstorm so I knew it wouldn't be long now. Suddenly, I got the big news, Sidney's labor has stalled and she's exactly where she was when we checked in.  A few more hours of awkward silence and my daughter Alanna, calls me in tears, to tell me that I am officially a Grandmother.  

As I started to walk towards the delivery room, I couldn't help but think back to that March 18th so many years ago when I first saw Sidney.  She was my second (and last) baby, labor was not too long and much easier than the first time around, but that didn't make it any less special. I remembered hearing her crying for the first time and thinking she would never pass unnoticed.  The first thing I saw when I walked in was Sidney, she was filled with love, happiness and relief.  The baby was healthy and perfect and Verusca is the spitting image of her mother.  All of a sudden it hits me.  I should be called Rara.  Now I am a Grandmother.  

Theatre On Wheels

In NYC even a mundane bus ride can take a turn for the theatrical.

Yesterday I took a routine trip to the Union Square Market.  Lucky for me the M14A bus takes me door to door, and yesterday was no exception.  I found the bus waiting for me with plenty of seats, and in no time I was strolling in the market.   When the time came to meet up with my MTA chauffeur, to my dismay, he kept me waiting.

When the double doors finally opened I quickly found one of the few remaining seats and by the time the bus pulled out, it was crammed with people.  At the next stop the bus was packed, and the riders were getting weary,  and so the curtain opens!

In our leading roles we have a man, 40-something, let's call him passenger A;  and passenger B, a 30-something woman whispering sweet nothings into an i-phone.  
Passenger A: "Why are you staring at me?"
Passenger B: "What are you talking about?"
After they exchanged a few unpleasantries the bus came to its next stop.   Here a few other key passengers joined us:  an elderly woman in a  wheel chair covered in bandages, and a middle-aged nun bearing an oversized cross on her chest.  At this point our protagonists had gained volume and passenger A assured passenger B, that were he a lesser man, he'd have a word or two for her.   In no time he became a lesser man.   Profanities  and obscenities of every shape, size, and color spilled from his mouth as if the dam had been broken.  The nun protested and shielded her holy ears with her hands and shouted as if in pain, "Those words, please don't!". 

Our driver yelled a swift "Shut up back there" to calm the crowd, which went almost entirely ignored.  The man to my right yelled back,  "You idiot, why do you keep on picking up wheel chairs and more riders?"   In response the bus stopped again to let more riders on than off.  As the bus started to fill up rivalries and  alliances quickly formed.  The woman sitting behind me gave me her allegiance with a whisper, "Do you believe this?" My next interaction was with a feeble old man whom I had offered my seat to.  

"If you get up, where are you going to put all those bags?"
Having done my duty, I politely smiled and looked away.  So he added,  "What the Hell are you going to do with all those vegetables?"  and so now I was surrounded by both allies and enemies.  A silent V'affanculo chilled my nerves and I managed to fake a big smile. 

Finally, it was my turn to get off.  As the bus doors closed behind me, I looked down at the many bags in my hands, and thought,  "What the hell am I going to do with all these vegetables?"  

THE CATALYST

This is not the first posting on my blog about the quandary of aging. It seems every few years I have a different "uh oh" moment.  wrinkles, greying hair, sagging skin....... and with it brings another insight about my life journey,  what it all means and how it changes who I am..  up until the November Pier show the process of aging to me had meant aging with dignity, dressing and acting appropriately (by my standards).  In other words I had resigned myself to growing  old.. not a bad thing,  as I also consider the advantages of experience and appreciate the smaller things in life that bring pleasure.

But something changed me at the Pier Show... I found something I had coveted for these many years now, a fabulous necklace designed by Coppola e Toppo who was famous in the 60s for designing the crystals that were at the end of the belts of the Pucci dresses that we all wore.  I had purchased many necklaces from this designer but this particular one never came my way.  But now I own one! it's mine!  I feel that a milestone has occurred and it's also a sort of an omen.  Eventually you get what you want.   This necklace was the catalyst for my change of attitude for the New Year.   It was sort of a chain reaction.  I was speaking to my friend Barbara about the necklace and it was at that moment that I realized I wanted to wear it with a little black dress on New Year's Eve.    Barbara wanting to join in  said "I've just the thing, my mother's little black dress from the 60's" it was a Jacqueline de Ribes black dress. 

Thanks to Fedex  I will have the perfect outfit for a New Year's celebration and I know that I will be sharing a fun evening with all who are celebrating the coming new year with me.  So this is my resolution-- to be more like the care free self of easier times!    doing what I want to do in my life!  With that, I wish all of you a Happy and healthy and productive New Year.  Have fun my friends!

The One That Got Away

Couldn't sleep at all last night, all I could think about was the Victorian heart locket, containing  a  photo of the man of my dreams, surrounded by carved stars and crescent moon motifs.  The man so beautiful with piercing soulful deep eyes, clearly a philosopher! 
  
The Victorian man had style, he was wearing such a beautiful shirt.... Like a Comme des Garcons shirt.   And, did I mention his confident smile.   Oh! that smile.

The clock was ticking. I placed my bid, another bid, and another and finally.....

He's going! going! gone!!!!.  He got away

I didn't bid high enough.  He's gone forever..... but he's forever  etched in my mind and in my heart.

Damn ebay! But then, you can't win'em all
 

MOTHER'S DAY

It's mother's day, Spring is in the air.  My daughter and I are sitting on the balcony drinking green tea and Nick Cave song "Opium Tea" is blasting on my computer.  I love that song.  

"I look out the window and what do I see "   "Cause I am what i am  and  what will be will be." 

The sun is out the squirrels are playing, the birds are chirping and I am happy.   And I can see the beauty in everything.

Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

Franz Kafka 

Micia

Today, a small kitten with grey and black stripes will become our new family member.  My daughter, Alanna, has been telling me the story all week long.  Now the time has come.

The negotiations on how to distribute the kittens found in a friend's backyard in Brooklyn,  lasted over a week.  Alanna liked the white kitten with the brown spots, but we are getting  the grey and black striped one.  The democratic approach was used - one that best suited the welfare of the kittens.  No one got to choose.  We got selected to take the kitten that was most outgoing because of our dog, NIKE.

The next thing was that they would all be given away at once.  So "Tonight's The Night". 

Alanna, made the preparations for the arrival of the as yet un-named kitten.  Much time was spent preparing Nike, lots of conversations, explanations, kisses and hugs.  Didn't seem like Nike had any interest in having a kitten to share our attentions. 

Now she's here, so small, so darling, and so beautiful!  Chubby Checker's 'The Twist', kept playing in my mind.   that was in 1960........it was a dejavu!  of when I got my little kitty Pallina.  And now I can have that same experience. With a new song! 

What to name her, comes next.  Alanna and I simultaneously thought of  Micia.  Every stray cat in Rome is called Micia and she fits the name so perfectly.  And so Micia it is.   Nike was overcome with jealousy mixed with curiosity and had to be separated from her new little friend.  Within hours they were cuddling up together and playing.  Micia fits in with our family perfectly.  Sidney will be back in a few weeks and has already met Micia on Skype.  She likes her too.  Fait accompli.

When I'm 64

"Many years from now" is here, and now I'm 64.  How did that happen?  Back in 1967, when we first heard that song, 64 seemed unimaginably far away.  I turned 64 on January 9th,  and to celebrate we had the perfect solution. MUSIC.  My friend, Mike Stern, was playing at the 55 Bar on Christopher Street, so I went with  my daughter and her friend.   It's been too long since I sat and listened to him play.  I mustn't let that happen again.  He's a terrific musician who makes wonderful music, and it was a treat to see him.  64 be damned. We had a great time.