I received an email from my friend Marcy asking me to forward a link of my blog to her friend. Her friend's husband recently left her and their child for another woman. But before he left he cleared the checking accounts.
To all of you who have been deserted by former loved ones, and left in a state of shock, I'd like to reassure you that there is a bright light at the end of that tunnel.
Try to remember that the person you loved, was not at all the person you THOUGHT you knew! just a figment of your imagination! For the one you loved would not have betrayed you..accept this and prepare to move on, to something so much better.. open yourself up to the many adventures ahead...
There's movie that I saw back in the 70's that deals with just what you are going through, you might want to rent it. "An Unmarried Woman" describes the loss, ,the hurt of being rejected, the pain suffered from the betrayal but most importantly, it shows how she redifines who she is and becomes a stronger and more independent person.
An Unmarried Woman (1978) More at IMDbPro »
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Erica is unmarried only temporarily in that her successful, wealthy husband of seventeen years has just left her for a girl he met while buying a shirt in Bloomingdale's. The film shows Erica coming to terms with the break-up while revising her opinions of herself, redefining that self in its own right rather than as an extension of somebody else's personality, and finally going out with another man. Erica refuses to drop everything for Saul, an abstract expressionist painter, simply out of love for him because
he expects her to. It is not so much loneliness that is her problem, and the problems that men, flitting around this newly "available" woman like moths round a flame, bring to her sense of independence. Written by alfiehitchier
The same kind of thing happened to Toto, (Italian actor, comedian, playright, poet, songwriter), and Look how he dealt with it. this story is a little different. Toto' and his ex-wife Diana Bandini made an agreement to stay together until their daughter Liliana left the house. She didn't keep her promise, and remarried. Heartbroken Toto' wrote a heart wrenching song and dedicated it to her. "Malafemmena" is considered one of the best neapolitan pop songs covered by many artists worldwide, including Elvis Presley. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3f9bKPZH14&feature=related
"Malafemmena" is written in the neapolitan dialect http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZnOmjj_Suw&feature=related
"Malafemmena" "Evil Woman"
Si avisse fatto a n'ato If you did to someone else
chello ch'e fatto a mme what you did to me
st'ommo t'avesse acciso, this man would have killed you,
tu vuò sapé pecché? Do you want to know why?
Pecché 'ncopp'a sta terra Because on this earth
femmene comme a te women like you
non ce hanna sta pé n'ommo should not be here for a man
onesto comme a me!... honest like me!...
Femmena Woman
Tu si na malafemmena You are an evil woman
Chist'uocchie 'e fatto chiagnere.. You made these eyes cry..
Lacreme e 'nfamità. tears and infamy.
Femmena, Woman
Si tu peggio 'e na vipera, You are worse than a viper,
m'e 'ntussecata l'anema, You intoxicated my soul,
nun pozzo cchiù campà. I can't live anymore,
Femmena Woman
Si ddoce comme 'o zucchero Your sweet just like sugar
però sta faccia d'angelo But this angel face
te serve pe 'ngannà... is made to deceive...
Femmena, Woman
tu si 'a cchiù bella femmena, You are the most beautiful woman,
te voglio bene e t'odio I love you and I hate you
nun te pozzo scurdà... I can't forget you...
Te voglio ancora bene I still love you
Ma tu nun saie pecchè But you don't know why
pecchè l'unico ammore Because you have been
si stata tu pe me... the only love for me...
E tu pe nu capriccio And for one fancy of yours
tutto 'e distrutto,ojnè, all has been destroyed
Ma Dio nun t'o perdone But God will not forgive you
chello ch'e fatto a mme!... What you have done to me!...
These are just two stories out of millions, There are lots of possibilities for us to keep growing, learning and creating. We have to seize the moment and have fun. We have to find the solution that fits with who we are. As John Lennon says "Whatever gets you through the night is all right". You will find your own path and deal with it in your own way. I wish you lots of luck. Writing in my journal is what got me trough the night.
2 comments:
It's funny, my world is collapsing at the moment and there's an Eddie Izzard line that I can't quite activate fully. Something to do with a souffle or perhaps it's a flan, slowly collapsing in the middle.
Divorce is far harder to deal with then a death! But, we survive and even become stronger and more loving.
After 20 yrs. my marriage ended in a very ugly way and I thought that I would never love or trust a man again! But I grew stronger and wiser. It took 7 yrs. to heal and I met the most wonderful loving man. We've been together as husband and wife for 13 yrs. and I am sure that we will be together until the end of our lives.....
Just keep your heart open and love will come again.....
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