When I'm 64

"Many years from now" is here, and now I'm 64.  How did that happen?  Back in 1967, when we first heard that song, 64 seemed unimaginably far away.  I turned 64 on January 9th,  and to celebrate we had the perfect solution. MUSIC.  My friend, Mike Stern, was playing at the 55 Bar on Christopher Street, so I went with  my daughter and her friend.   It's been too long since I sat and listened to him play.  I mustn't let that happen again.  He's a terrific musician who makes wonderful music, and it was a treat to see him.  64 be damned. We had a great time.

Follow Your Heart

And then it happens, the phone rings and my friend Virginia announces she's coming to visit. It's her first time in NYC and there's so much I want to share, to show her....

She arrives, and the first night she's here, she teaches me how to make pizza. A few days later, she's teaching me how to make wine ciambelle. The next day she teaches me how to make pies and crostata to take to her friend's party. I too was invited.

This is a first for me! I had never been to a party in the US where everyone invited spoke Italian. What a treat. It was here I heard the story of Franca Viola. Now one of my heroines. At the age of 17 she rebelled against an unjust law and won (see below). We share the same first name, the same birth date. and the same philosophy "Follow Your Heart".

I so admire her courage, her defiant, rebellious nature. I am so happy to have learned about Franca Viola from Virginia.

Now that Virginia is home, she will be in my thoughts everytime I prepare the delicious simple recipies she taught me. I will see her footprints on the streets of NYC.

Franca Viola (born in Alcamo in 1947) is a Sicilian woman that became famous in the 1960s in Italy for refusing a "rehabilitating wedding" ("matrimonio riparatore") after suffering kidnapping and rape. Instead, she and her family successfully appealed to the law to prosecute the rapists. The trial had a wide resonance in Italy, as Viola's behavior clashed with the traditional social conventions, whereby a woman would lose her honour if she did not marry the man she lost her virginity to. Franca Viola thus became a symbol of the cultural progress and the emancipation of women in post-war italy wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Franca_Viola

In 1968, three years after her abduction, Franca married Giuseppe Ruisi, the man she was engaged to at the age of 14. She married the man she loved. In 1981 because of her courageous stance article 544 was repealed. Article 544 abolishes the right to cancel a violent sexual assault by subsequent marriage.

When interviewed by Riccardo Vescovo, she said.

“It was not a courageous gesture. I only did what I felt I had to do, as any other girl would do today. I listened to my heart, the rest came by itself. Today my advice to young people is to follow their own feelings; it is not difficult. I did it in a very different Sicily, they can do this by simply looking into their hearts”

She's a grandmother now, living with her family in Alcamo, Sicily.

Touch The Moon

I am fortunate to be living in a corner apartment on the 14th floor in downtown NYC. It has a wonderful panoramic view. From one corner I see the Manhattan Bridge and the Brooklyn bridge and the old buildings of the Financial District. From the other side of the apartment looking West I see the tall buildings of the city off in the distance. And, then there is the sky.

And often I just find myself looking out wishing I could reach up and touch the moon - just as I did when I was little. This was a time when I was content just being in the world and feeling very much connected to nature. I so enjoy watching the moon, I love the way it constantly changes offering it's many shapes and sizes and how different it looks in the changing backgrounds. Every night is a different painting,

When my children were small I found a book, by Eric Carle, "Papa, please get the moon for me". On the cover was a large moon above a mountain top, with a ladder. And this is just what I saw when I was a child looking out from my terrace. All I felt I needed was someone to come with me to the top of the hill and hold the ladder for me! And, I wasn't alone in wishing to touch the moon! My daughters loved that book and they told me they too dreamed of touching it.

Years later, I met Margaret and we became very close friends. It turned out she was responsible for the development of the NASA Apollo onboard flight software. She received an Exceptional Space Act Award, one of only 128 awards granted by NASA from 1990 through 2003. And now again, my dream of touching the moon has come back to me.

Today I googled "touch the moon", and there I see that for all of us who dreamed of touching the moon, our dreams can now become reality!

I see some nearly 4-billion-year-old piece of moon rock will be on display for visitors to touch as part of NASA’s 'Driven to Explore' traveling exhibit, at the Children’s Museum (For more information call (803) 779-3100 or visit www.edventure.org)
Read more: http://www.thestate.com/2011/06/12/1855583/touch-the-moon-really-on-tuesday.html#ixzz1XSgJAvjN
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And finally, then, as Eleanor Roosevelt said so well:
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"

I HAD A DREAM

Yesterday, you hurt me and the hurt turned to anger and for that I'm sorry. This is what I wrote in an email to an old friend today.

After, I pressed the send button, I started thinking about what I'd written and what it really meant. I felt I was justified for my anger and that he deserved my angry words. Still pondering the situation, I get a call from Mandi, a friend of mine, who tells me about a video she's working on using the song by Randy Newman "Last night I had a dream"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0MkzooASGg&feature=related

Hearing the lyrics of this song triggered more introspection.

You said, "Honey, can you tell me what your name is?"
"Honey, can you tell me what your name is?"
I said, "You know what my name is."

And than it came to me - What I never really realized before - that he never did understand who I really am.

Aging Gracefully

My grandmother has been in my thoughts and in conversations with my women friends a lot lately. I have been using her as a great example for us as she was someone who never wasted time thinking about aging. She was forever young. She was happy, she had a career that gave her a purpose in life, and her work kept her young and active both mentally and physically. At the age of 94 when old age had finally crept in and she could no longer work, she died peacefully. She was never ill, she slept very little, read her books diligently every night, drank many cups of strong espresso daily and worked every day of her life. (she never took a vacation)

When my life changed so drastically, for a moment I had forgotten what really made me happy and where I came from.

Here I go again, starting up my accounting career once more just like I did in 1979. Starting from scratch after so much life experience and in such a different world. Technology - 'have computer will travel' - has changed the way I do business, it allows me to work from home. I no longer have the constraints of an office, research is at my fingertips. My computer, clients and associates now form my new 'virtual' office. My associate Laurie, an ex-employee, intelligent, hard working, with impeccable work ethics, and attention to detail and getting things done right, makes for a great partner. My clients are a wonderful new cast of characters for me, an international mix, many in the arts, all with real talent, all sharing one common denominator CREATIVITY... and I love that.

Talking with my friends about my grandmother and going back to my career have helped me find my fountain of youth, tomorrow, we shall see what else life will bring us. A new journey. I welcome it.

I want to thank my grandmother yet again for helping me throughout my life. When I was young our talks guided me to making important life decisions. Now, that she's no longer with us she is still guiding me by her example in the most difficult part of life "Aging Gracefully".

Michael

Last night my friend Margaret and I were talking about old friends and at her suggestion, I googled my friend Michael only to find that he has been dead for the past 8 years. I met Michael when I was 17 years old and he remained very close to my heart. Our friendship lasted over the years. Although I didn't see him, he'd call every so often and we'd catch up on our lives. Until... we lost touch several years ago. I thought it was due perhaps to all of my contact numbers being changed when my business was merged and I separated from my ex.

I wondered why he hadn't called and years later, I called his office only to find that he was no longer there and no forwarding number. I then knew but could not bring myself to accept that I would never hear from him again. I knew he was gone forever. There were many things I needed to say.

When my father died I felt the same. I kept putting off discussions that needed to be addressed. I always thought there would be time. But one morning, I got the call that he had passed the night before, all the thoughts of all the unanswered questions All the thoughts of what needed to be said; crowded in on me while a sadness came over me. The same sadness that I felt last night reading of Michael's passing.

I was devastated that I could not say goodbye. While the process of having to say goodbye, seemed unimportant to me in the earlier part of my life, it now seems very significant and essential in my second chapter.

However, in 2007, I was fortunate enough to contact two of my favorite clients Johnny, and Hiram. I was feeling nostalgic as my life had changed drastically. Finding myself in France, I thought of Johnny and how much I admired and respected him as an artist and as a human being. I thought how much I missed him and decided to call him. I indirectly said my goodbyes to him by telling him all that I thought about him. And then there was Hiram, who was like a son to me, he was playing at "Testaccio Village" in Rome when I was in Rome. I went back stage like the old days and got time to talk there and again when we were in NYC. .

A year later shockingly both Johnny and Hiram died on the same day 7/25/2008. Johnny in France and Hiram in NYC. Yes, there was GREAT sadness but there were no unanswered questions or untold feelings. There was closure. They will always be in my heart.

Today on Valentine's, I hope you all remember your loved ones and make sure they know how you feel.

Happy Valentine,
Franca

A Quattr'occhi

My friend called yesterday asking what time would be best for her son to call me. He wanted to ask me some questions pertaining to accounting. I immediately said that if he was going to be in NYC, I would rather see him in person. I really wanted to say "a quattr'occhi", an expression I'd never used before but I now remember coming across it for the first time many years ago. It was in Rome back in 2001, I was visiting the ‘Alimentari’, the deli on via dei Banchi Vecchi when I noticed two men loudly speaking to each other. One said, "I told him that I wanted to speak to him 'a quattr’occhi' not on the phone". I loved the expression, but never had a reason to use it until yesterday.

What does “a quattr'occhi" really mean? The literal translation is "with four eyes". and when I heard the two men talking in the Alimentari, the meaning was much more that just "with four eyes", I understood it to mean only 4 eyes in other words, in private.

I started thinking about the phrase and the beauty of it and how significant it was. I started thinking of all of the emails and phone conversations that were misunderstood and how this could have been avoided if instead I had spoken to the people involved "a quattr'occhi". The eyes tell so much, they really are the windows of our souls. They give clues as to what we are thinking and feeling. When the eyes are smiling we know it's a genuine smile. Is the person looking at our eyes or avoiding them? So, off I go and googled a quatrr'occhi. Yes, the meaning was right on. I also found a video “A quattr’occhi with Dio” with Massimo Troise, an actor I loved in " Il Postino". This video introduced me to another side of Massimo Troisi.

A quattr'occhi con Dio” Massimo Troisihttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27F2njMwnto&NR=1

I had seen "Il Postino" and fell in love with Massimo Troisi, a sensitive loving and handsome man. I never knew before today, that he was also a comedian with a lot to say. In this video he's having a private conversation with God and he's demanding of God an explanation for all he's done. He questions God’s haste in creating the world in 6 days. He says the animals are complaining, like the elephant thinks his nose is too long… a very amusing soliloquy of a poor man angrily speaking with his God. He says the ten commandments were made to benefit the rich- After all, who would want to covet or steal his old hoody! What was that nonsense and chaos that God caused just because a young girl ate an apple! By the way you should check it out as it is very funny, if you can understand Italian, better yet the Neapolitan dialect.

This form of communication obviously isn't, "aquattr’occhi", it's almost the New Year and I hope in the coming 2011 I will be speaking to all of you a quattr’occhi.