Wednesday, November 4, 2009

"WHAT WOULD I CHANGE IF I COULD" By HELOISE LASSAUER

Having been downsized and not finding new employment, it has given me a lot of time to think what would I have done differently.
I came of age in the 60's. It was a time when you were taught you could be a teacher, secretary or marry early and start a family. It is only a special few women that were smart enough to see additional professional job options like Franca.

I was college educated and choose to marry young and start a family. A wonderful daughter came from that, but the rest was a disaster. My husband and I were totally different. In looking back I do not think we even liked each other.
So there I was in the 70's with a daughter to raise and an ex husband who disappeared and gave me no child support. I went looking for a job and my liberal arts college education meant little in the real world where companies were asking me how quickly I could type.

I got lucky, a married man who worked in the garment center tried to hit on me. I was not interested in a relationship but a job, and he ended up hiring me in a low level position. I discovered I had a real flair for the creative end and a head for the business.
I rose through the management ranks in enterprising companies and started to get paid well. I raised my daughter and put her through private school and college on my salary. It was a heady time.

Yes I probably would have been more financially secure today if I went into teaching, as I could have retired with a nice pension. The garment center never offered that but it offered higher salaries and exciting travel.
I also met my second husband in the garment center to whom I am married today.
My industry is disseminated and my prospects of finding a job at my age slim. Yet in looking back I would have not changed my decisions.
NO I never wanted to be a teacher it would have been 25 years of torture to get that pension, and I would probably not have met my husband.
I have decided the only way to survive is to look forward and see what I can change in the future. I read this blog and see that so many women are in similar positions.. When we first started our careers the world was so different. The internet has changed every aspect of our lives. Even divorce was very different. I was the first one I knew to get a divorce back in the 70's it was considered gutsy. How silly that sounds today.
Even takeout food did not exist if you wanted to eat you had to cook.
It is all so very different, and we have to reinvent ourselves to exist in it.

Here's to all of us smart ladies, let's brainstorm and network to come up with suggestions on how we can transform ourselves and be a vibrant part of the new world.

Heloise "Se potessi Cosa Cambierei"


Avendo perso il mio lavoro per motivi dove le dimenioni del mercato e degli independenti sono state ridotte, per me e stato difficile poter trovare un nuovo lavoro, questo mi ha dato molto tempo di pensare che cosa io avrei fatto diversamente. Sono cresciuta nel 60'. Era un periodo in cui il nostro insegniamento era di essere una insegnante, segretaria o sposare presto ed iniziare una famiglia. Erano soltanto poche donne speciali che erano abbastanza astute di vedere le opzioni professionali supplementari di lavoro come Franca.

Mi sono laureata e ho scelto di sposarmi giovane ed iniziare una famiglia. Una figlia meravigliosa è venuta da questol matrimonio, il resto era un disastro. Mio marito ed io eravamo completamente differenti. Riflettendo penso che neanche ci piacevamo molto.

Così nel 70'S mi sono ritrovata con una figlia da crescere e un marito sparito senza darmi il mantenimento per la mia figlia. Sono andata a cercare un lavoro ma la mia laurea in Lettere aveva poco significato nel mondo reale in cui le aziende mi chiedevano la velocita' di battere a macchina.

Sono stata fortunata, un uomo sposato che lavorava nel campo dell’abbigliamento, ha tentato di conquistarmi . Io Non ero interessata ad un rapporto ma cercavo un lavoro e cosi mi ha assunta come un inpiegata in una posizione a basso livello. Ho scoperto che ero creativa e avevo un talento per il commercio. Passo dopo passo sono riuscita a farmi una buona posizione nell’amministrazione delle aziende ed ho cominciato ad ottenere un buono stipendio. Ho cresciuto la mia figlia e sono stata capace a farle frequentare le scuole private e l’iniversita’ con il mio stipendio. Era un tempo esaltante.

Si, probabilmente oggi sarei stata finanziariamente piu sicura se avessi scelto di diventare un’insegnante, poichè sarei potuta andare in pensione con una pensione migliore. Il mercato dell’abbigliamento non mi ha offerto mai questo ma mi ha offerto stipendi piu’ alti e viaggi interessanti. Inoltre ho incontrato il mio secondo marito in questo campo di lavoro con il quale sono sposata oggi.
L’industria dove Io lavoravo si e ridotta la possibilita per me di trovare un nuovo lavoro alla mia età e’ molto difficile. Tuttavia nel guardando indietro posso dire che non avrei cambiato le mie scelte.
No, non ho voluto mai essere un’ insegnante. Sarebbero stati 25 anni di tortura per ottenere quella pensione e probabilmente non avrei incontrato mio marito.
Ho deciso che l'unica maniera di sopravvivere è di guardare avanti per vedere che cosa posso cambiare in futuro.

Leggo questo blog e vedo che tante donne sono nelle mia stessa situaione. Quando abbiamo iniziato le nostre carriere il mondo era molto differente. I’ Internet ha cambiato ogni funzione della nostra vita. Anche il divorzio era molto differente. Io ero la prima di tutti quelle che conoscevo ad essere divorziata neglie anni 70' S si ero considerata coraggiosa. Oggi questi pensieri sembrano sciocchi. Neppure il cibo a portar via non esistiva se volevi mangiare dovevi cucinare. È tutto così molto differente e dobbiamo re-inventarci per poter esistere.

Ecco a tutte noi signore astute, Mettiamoci insieme and brainstorm and network per arrivare a dare suggerimenti su come possiamo trasformarci e diventare vibranti in questo nuovo mondo.

3 comments:

Franca said...

Heloise, I have been thinking about your entry. I agree with you, brainstorming with my friends is what has helped me get through hard times and stay ahead in this new world. Thank you for your post.

helscat129 said...

A wonderful Christmas post. We sometimes forget the joys like this that we do not have to shop in crowds or spend money to achieve smiles.
Keep up this wonderful blog
Heloise

Ann P Munday said...

Having just read some more of your posts and those of your friends, I salute you Franca,and send you my love. On the eve of my 61st birthday, I shall look back at the year, and thank God, you came back into my life. That my brother survives from both a massive heart attack and cancer that had spread. And enjoys his life, particularly his two daughters, Sami and Vanessa, and Vanessa's crazy dogs, Bella and Callie, who both join him in the pool. He's supposed to be swimming to exercise his half a heart. Seems to be more playtime with the dogs!
That my delightful Sami enjoyed her wedding and was radiance personified. Although she is moving to Texas with her Navy husband and already worried about rattlesnakes and tornadoes. But Sami, here we have rattlesnakes too, poisonous spiders (didn't know that until recently myself and I've lived here on and off for 30+ years!) and earthquakes!
That Vanessa looked absolutely stunning at her sister's wedding as she always does and has the most delightful boyfriend, Vitaliy, who is of Russian descent.
And that with both of them I became a "mother".
That I saw "my" uncle Bill, my second step mother, June (4 years older than me) and her partner Frank flew in from the UK and we were able to celebrate Bill's 77th. He's known me since I was 3!
That I saw my lovely sister Danielle and her husband, ex Airforce, however, still working for them. They flew in from Utah.
That my art is getting better and better, although my finances are getting worse and worse!
That I lost over 40 lbs without the aid of Jenny Craig, but that I need to get back to walking and doing sit ups!
And with walking, I think of Anita as I have done every waking moment since she died in May and wonder when the pain will lessen, but know she's in my heart forever. Until her disabling spinal disease confined us to just a few blocks, I walked at least 2 miles a day, often twice. Such an easy exercise, and so much to see when you love plants and gardens.
That I shall be going to visit my other brother, Darren, his absolutely lovely wife, Becky and Ben and Luke. I remember that I looked after them for their 6 week vacation from school when they were much younger, and how much they made me laugh. I am grateful that I am much more fit now than then, although I probably still won't be able to manage the trampoline without them falling about laughing!
So tonight I will be grateful for all of these things.
Much love to you.

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